Everybody has a tendency to focus on “Who is right” in times of conflict.

This weekend, I took my daughter and her 3 girlfriends to the movies. On our way, we had a drama-momentum between two girls, complains and tears came up while they were explaining what happened.

Every girl had a version of the facts and after a while we were going nowhere. Then I asked them: “Chicas, are we here to fight OR to enjoy the film together?”…. Everybody responded the second choice.

“OK, in that case give me a smile with teeth and let’s go!”


After 2 mins of silence, they started to talk about something else. (phew!)


A conflict with 5-years old girls took some minutes because they changed the focus on “What is right”.

@work, I’m already 2 weeks on the same topic because everybody keeps the focus on “Who is right”.


Are (we) the adults educating the children? or is in the other way around?… 🙂